Friday, September 22, 2006
hello! yay! finally can have smth to blog alr. =D hmm.. today is.. friday. ok. i shall say what happened on.. wednesday. wednesday:
i got no prelims on that day. so i went to library to study. then as i was studying, there was this beautiful fly flying around making alot of noise. haha. then suddenly it DROPPED down. it was like beside me. at the window. so i looked at it. it looks like a bee but its not. the wings very nice. its body is black and yellow but not striped. very nice! but it was crawling very very slowly. i think its injured. so i din bother it. after a while, i went to see wheres the fly. cannot see. so i moved my bag which was beside the window. i was like 0.0 it was on my bag and was crawling in from a small hole at the top! AHHH! no one would want a fly to crawl into ur bag and move ard inside right! so i took a book and let it crawl onto it. and i just sort of throw the book to the floor in front. not very hard la. but the fly sort of "jumped" and flew up and later it dropped down again. then i go and see.. it was upside down la. but legs still moving. i tried to help it go back to its feet but everytime it automatically went back to its back. i feel so guilty laa. haha. and for a long time it was still there trying to get up but cant. saded. all becos of me.. =( haha =X oh wells. but at least i tried to help. and i even prayed for it okay! pray that it will recover. haa. =P so ya. wonder how is it now. hope no one go and kill it. but actually also good la. ease the pain. xD
ok. enough of that! yesterday, after my paper, me, jo, mei, chaiyue, yahui and jialing went to tou hua shop and eat. but we took fries in also la. and the auntie din say anything 0.0
haha. and we chatted for a loong time. from like 1 plus to three. had a fun time. we switch subject very fast. from saying wanting to go sakae after our last paper next week to changing mind and go kbox and then decide to go sakae instead. cos we voted and majority wins! YAY! then, we talked abt animals. from ?? talk until forgot start from where also. ohh! winter dogs having to bear the heat in singapore to polar bear to penguins -- "jolene's cute little animals" haha. then to water animals. abt sharks, turtles and blah blah blah. then we were also talking abt schools to go after Os and blah blah blah. and went back to animals and went back again to schools, etc etc. oh! and before those we actually were talking abt political stuff 0.0 wow. ha. =P then side tracked and became talking abt animals lor then blah blah. then got once someone randomly asked a qtn. chicken first or egg first. almost everyone said was egg first. except me of course. i said chicken! but hey, its true. but they said it was already SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN. but so what? scientists are still human beings. not all things can believe. only the Bible can be trusted. It says God created the animals. it din say it created the chicken eggs, bird eggs, fish eggs right. so weird. imagine all the earth are filled with different kind of eggs. then slowly they grow into animals. haha. but oh wells. they want to believe then believe lor. haha =P not my business.
hmm.. and recently, i thought of many many things. and i dunno if i should call this "revelation" or not. cos i dont know if it just came from me, the devil or God. when you hear the word father what do you think of? ur daddy or papa or dad right? ur earthly father that takes care of you? and of cos, our Heavenly Father whom we call Daddy God, Abba Father, etc. but hey, some ppl forgot about another father. the father of lies -- Satan. hmm.. and i thought: sometimes when ppl pray, they just say father father. never say what father. Heavenly Father or father of lies. so sometimes we might even be "praying" to satan. ha. dunno why suddenly thought of this la. its ur choice to decide where it comes from. but hey, im not going to include the word father only in my prayer. i will include Heavenly or Abba just before the Father. just in case you know. better safe than sorry. haha.
and i also thought of other things la. and hmm.. its abt ppl again. i want to just place all my thoughts here. but this is my blog. so i chose not to disclose who im refering to. so you dont bother asking. i will just ignore it totally. but dont worry. i will get over it very quickly. all i need is just one day. haha. or maybe less or maybe a little more la. aiyah whatever. but just dont bother abt the rest of my post. the end!
to someone A: hmm.. i thought abt it. maybe its true. why din i thought of it b4? if she never suggest this idea, i would probably believe it for the rest of my life and keep wondering. so now i know. everything so far has been a joke. whatever you said. and i was so stupid to believe it. no wonder i felt that you changed. but i know you hadnt. its just that i dont know you well enough. so i pictured you the way i wanted. but hey, you did so many things that made me believe. now as i type this, im still not convinced. if you are merely kidding, why did you have to wave to me in that way. it makes me feel so good. why? i dont understand. or maybe ure just bored. perhaps. ok its no way that i can argue my way out of this. its very simple. i just cant face the fact. i cant face reality. i choose to remain in my own fantasy world. but im happier in there though i feel. but i know one day, i have to face it. so might as well be now. we are all over. forget it. i dont want to bother you anymore. thats it. youre now just part of my memory. how sweet! yet it was all a joke. oh wells. at least its still beautiful. all the dreams. i wished it all came true. but thank God it din. cos i know i will regret. oh well, i shall stop here. goodbye ** ********.
to someone B: argh. ure really irritating you know. i know ure trying to be nice. but thats not the way. i just cant appreciate. and stop pretending. im not stupid. stop going round and round and asking questions that you know i wont answer. ok. maybe you dont know. but ure getting on my nerves. stop pretending that you understand. cos you dont. not at all. and why say sorry? you dont even mean it. you have to say sorry and CHANGE. dont do that again. but you keep repeating it. youre taking us for granted. and i tell you many times alr. i thought you got the picture. but you din. or perhaps ure just childish. refusing to face reality. but hey, it wont work. you will never get what you want. if thats that, thats it. you cant force anything out of this. why bother making promises after promises when you intend to break them all. whats the point? aiyah, i dunno how to say but. argh. are you trying to do something? are you doing some stupid experiment or smth? pls dont test my patience. you'll never know when i will explode. and i dont want to. so stop it b4 its too late. dont make me hate you. i still have to see you and talk to you almost everyday. Thank God that i have God. if not, i dunno what i will become now. at least i can now commit my problems to Him. so i dont need to bother abt them. so i guess i wont explode. but just dont test my limits.
okay. i think thats all for now. theres smth good abt keeping them anonymous. cos i know what im talkin abt and you dont. so dont ask anything abt it. if you think thats you, too bad. but it will be a very small chance. hey, i know so many ppl la. and you are only one of the many. so its very small chance. so dont bother thinking if its you. just ignore it. i dont need any comments. i dont need understanding. i just need silence. so dont say anything abt it. i will return the silence that i want back to you. i wont reply. the end. thats it for now. i got something else to post but guess it wont be suitable to post it here. so i will use another post. bye
michelle was here at
12:51:00 PM
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